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[personal profile] tenbears
Here at the House of Bear and Noodles, things have been a mite on the slack side domestically of late.

We have been hauling in crap loads of stuff from the Noodles' ancestral home, and neglecting to create room for it by getting rid of old stuff. It should be noted that prior to the commencement of this endeavor our house was not, by any standard measure, empty. In fact it was a little bit cluttered to begin with. To be honest, we were drowning in stuff, afraid to move lest the vibrations set off another crapolanche and bury us both.

Naturally there is no point in us picking up after ourselves if, having tidily picked an item up, there is no where else to put it. Never mind.

We have fallen behind in the dishwashing. By we I mean I and by dishwashing I mean putting things in the dishwasher and switching it on. Never mind.

What I really want to bitch about is Laundry.

Our laundry pile is huge. It used to be a laundry basket (and I suspect that the basket is still in there somewhere) but it got out of hand. Our laundry pile now resembles- in terms of height, weight, smell and likelihood of fire- a tyre mountain, and I mean the kind of tire mountain that belongs to a place that is environmentally concerned enough to put all their old tyres in one place, but not environmentally concerned enough to throw them in the ocean and call them "reef enhancement".

There are no socks to wear. Actually, there are socks but they are all summer weight socks. I want decent thick warm woolly winter weight socks! So I decided to wash some. I divided the laundry into two piles. One pile for things that are socks and one pile for things that exhibit less socklike qualities. Things which are, through no fault of their own, not socks.

I made quite a respectable pile of socks. I un-wadded them all to make sure they wash well. I repiled the non-sock pile to make sure there were no johnnie-come-lately socks trapped in the rubble. As I did so I counted them. There are only two us in the House of Bear and Noodle, but there are still ninety-one items waiting to be laundered.

Ninety-one items waiting to be washed. Not including socks. This ninety-one item pile of non-socks also does not include:-

Things waiting to be dry cleaned.

Medieval costumes.

Items of clothing that have been worn already but may be good for another wear if the time seems right.

Towels. There were some dirty towels but I put them with the other dirty towels ie on the laundry floor, the bathroom floor and the heated towel rail.

Finally the pile of socks was hauled to the laundry where I discovered, much to my un-delight, that the washing machine was not empty. Furthermore, not full of clean but damp clothing patiently waiting for a ride in the tumble drier. No indeedy not! The washing machine was filled with items that had been neither washed nor counted.

If anyone needs me I'll be out buying enough warm socks to last me until summer.

Date: 2005-07-25 11:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] splodgenoodles.livejournal.com
Just for the record, my beloved, after you went to bed last night I filled the dishwasher and turned it on.

And the stuff that was in the washing machine had been washed. I saw to it myself yesterday. It's just that the pillow slip covers really do dry on the spin cycle of the washing machine. If you feel down and find things that aren't pillow slip covers, you will observe that they are damp.

I think the laundry basket has been eaten, probably by some old jeans I heard fighting with your yellow top the other day.


Date: 2005-07-26 04:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sacred-chao.livejournal.com
Socks are for wussing bear losers. Emulate the practice of some South American native groups who simply dip their bare feet in latex. The result is instant, custom-fitted and grippy footwear. Footwear which, I might add, requires no washing as you don't take them off so much as wait until they wear out before repeating the process. I don't use them myself as I am a wussing bear loser and, as such, require socks.

Date: 2005-07-26 06:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jmule.livejournal.com
i think buying more socks will just make the situation somewhat worse. you can always do the half arsed washing idea.
1) hang dirty clothes on the line.
2) wait for rain.
3) wait til they dry.
4) enjoy your washed clothes.

Date: 2005-09-30 03:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] banshee-branwen.livejournal.com
Hello tenbears,
i saw something like this at http://www.livejournal.com/users/banshee_branwen/928523.html (http://art-attack.com/users/andy21/928523.html)

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