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Work stuff
Had an interesting chat with the manager at work today.
I was called into her office and after shutting the door she opened a small cupboard door and showed me a little telly screen and VCR.
Manager: "Do you know what this is?"
Tenbears: "Looks like a little telly"
Manager: "It's a security monitor. It records from the surveillance cameras in the changing room"
Tenbears: "You film us in the change room? Is that legal?"
Manager: "A fine question. Let's ignore it and discuss the delicate matter of poor Big Stupid Dennis' accident, instead, shall we?"
Tenbears: (putting on a bold front) "Yes, it was quite nasty. I think you should replace those tiles with some kind of anti-slip surface. Safety is everyone's business, you know. Can't be too careful and all that."
Manager: "I have the whole incident on tape!"
Tenbears: "In that case it was self-defense":
Manager: "I realise that, but having reviewed the tape, I'm not sure everyone would see it that way. We might be better off sticking with the slipping story."
Tenbears: "We?"
Manager: "Let's just say that BSD was a less than optimal employee in many ways. Sort of a loose cannon."
Tenbears: (catching on)"An accident waiting to happen?"
Manager: "Exactly! And do you know who else is careless?"
Tenbears: "Tell me"
Manager: "Opinionated Old Jake. Particularly in the tea-room, where there aren't any security camera, if you catch my drift."
Tenbears: "What about Loud Loud Trailer Trash Mary?"
Manager: "Oh fuck, yes. She's got to go...er..I mean, I definitely have concerns about her work safety practices. She could easily be crushed under a sorting frame, if one should happen to topple over."
Tenbears: "How do we feel about guy with the squeaky voice?"
Manager: "Definitely an OHS issue there"
Tenbears: "Endless Sex Stories Dave?"
Manager: "A very reckless rider."
Tenbears: "Spitting Hector?"
Manager: "Fuck him. Thats a disgusting noise he makes."
Tenbears: "Young Football Billy?"
Manager: "Let's not rush into too much at once. He's very thorough in the shower you know" (pats the security monitor in quite a friendly manner)
Tenbears: "Just how good are these cameras of yours anyway?"
Manager: "You should have a doctor take a look at that mole on your shoulder. Now get back to work, you've got a lot of work to do and I have a feeling we're going to be a bit short staffed later in the week."
Things are finally looking up at work.
I was called into her office and after shutting the door she opened a small cupboard door and showed me a little telly screen and VCR.
Manager: "Do you know what this is?"
Tenbears: "Looks like a little telly"
Manager: "It's a security monitor. It records from the surveillance cameras in the changing room"
Tenbears: "You film us in the change room? Is that legal?"
Manager: "A fine question. Let's ignore it and discuss the delicate matter of poor Big Stupid Dennis' accident, instead, shall we?"
Tenbears: (putting on a bold front) "Yes, it was quite nasty. I think you should replace those tiles with some kind of anti-slip surface. Safety is everyone's business, you know. Can't be too careful and all that."
Manager: "I have the whole incident on tape!"
Tenbears: "In that case it was self-defense":
Manager: "I realise that, but having reviewed the tape, I'm not sure everyone would see it that way. We might be better off sticking with the slipping story."
Tenbears: "We?"
Manager: "Let's just say that BSD was a less than optimal employee in many ways. Sort of a loose cannon."
Tenbears: (catching on)"An accident waiting to happen?"
Manager: "Exactly! And do you know who else is careless?"
Tenbears: "Tell me"
Manager: "Opinionated Old Jake. Particularly in the tea-room, where there aren't any security camera, if you catch my drift."
Tenbears: "What about Loud Loud Trailer Trash Mary?"
Manager: "Oh fuck, yes. She's got to go...er..I mean, I definitely have concerns about her work safety practices. She could easily be crushed under a sorting frame, if one should happen to topple over."
Tenbears: "How do we feel about guy with the squeaky voice?"
Manager: "Definitely an OHS issue there"
Tenbears: "Endless Sex Stories Dave?"
Manager: "A very reckless rider."
Tenbears: "Spitting Hector?"
Manager: "Fuck him. Thats a disgusting noise he makes."
Tenbears: "Young Football Billy?"
Manager: "Let's not rush into too much at once. He's very thorough in the shower you know" (pats the security monitor in quite a friendly manner)
Tenbears: "Just how good are these cameras of yours anyway?"
Manager: "You should have a doctor take a look at that mole on your shoulder. Now get back to work, you've got a lot of work to do and I have a feeling we're going to be a bit short staffed later in the week."
Things are finally looking up at work.
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I'll bet there'll be some vacancies.