tenbears | Dear Valued Former Client

Dear Client.

You don't realise it yet, but today was the last time I will be working for you. It's one of the advantages of being self-employed, I don't have to work with, or for, people that I don't like.

And I don't like you.

Now we get to the bit where it's like breaking up with a girlfriend. Imagine me patting you (platonicly) on the shoulder and saying "It's not you, it's me".

Lets be honest here, I'm smarter than I look and have a surprising degree of carefully hidden self-awareness. I'm passive-aggressive and I have class issues.

It offends me to listen to you cry poor. Today was the last straw. You asked me to rake up the leaves from the side path to your flat, and then quibbled over the measly sum of $15 to do so. You stressed to me that it was important because you wanted to create a good impression because you need to find a flatmate to help pay the rent (because you're poor).

Well too bad. Poor people don't pay others to sweep up after them. They do it themselves or they do without.

The rent you are apparently struggling with goes to your mother. By paying it you are helping to build a family asset. Let's not overlook the fact that your mum owns more houses than she can live in.

Now don't get me wrong, I consider myself rich these days. I own my own home and live in it with the woman I love. Life doesn't get better than that. But I don't run around wringing my hands and claiming poverty so that someone will give up their own time to give me a bargain price on cleaning up after me.

By the way poor people don't try to emphasise how poor they are by telling me that their credit card is maxed out because of a recent overseas holiday. Actually smart people don't try that either.

Working at your place this morning has left me in a grumpy mood all day, so I won't be coming back.

But I am looking forward to the next time you ring me to ask.